Posts Tagged ‘brain’
The Ongoing Adventures of GrayBall-The-Brain ~ This episode: “The Worried Psychic.”
Monday, November 4th, 2019“I no longer question whether or not the future can be changed. Instead, I question whether or not the future exists as future. I think not.” (jc)
I’ve never met anyone who didn’t want happiness and peace of mind. All living creatures want to be okay.
I think it’s built into the Big-Bang Blueprint.
Even people obsessed with acquiring objects are trying to get something they believe is vital to their well-being. They just go about it poorly thinking that owning things is the secret to having peace.
It isn’t.
GrayBall-The-Brain, the principal in our story, (henceforth known as GrayBall for short, or Brain for shorter) has some peculiar behaviors. I want to discuss its tendency to compare, looking for negative, scary things. It’s a survival mechanism. Had it been unable to distinguish between what’s helpful or harmful, none of us would be here.
But when basic survival skills for GrayBall become obsessions of the mind, unhappiness becomes a lifestyle; a way of being.
That’s what happens when Brain compares what it desires to what it actually has. Thinking that it needs the object of its desire to be happy, GrayBall feels unhappy NOW, begins to worry, and becomes anxious about its future. It might never get what it wants.
You know anyone like that?
I do. I have a friend who says she worries about everything.
“Everything is a lot to be worried about,” I said.
I asked her to make a list.
She did. It really was everything.
Yikes!
The last item was ‘worried about being worried.’ Kind of a tough spot she’s in, wouldn’t you say?
Strictly speaking, no one can be worried about everything because no one knows what everything is. So, we got to work and narrowed it down to specifics.
If you’re worried about future events that may or may not happen,
you’re worried about something that isn’t real.
All the items on her revised list were of possible-scary-future events. And fear and worry are future dependent.
Nobody worries about what might happen in their past, because the past is over.
No one worries about an event that occurred in their past, either–unless they’re thinking about how it might effect their future. See?
My friend was focusing on the scary things that might or could, happen.
But what might happen, also might not happen. Almost anything could happen, but it also could not happen. And most things that could’ve happened–never did happen. (Think about that one.)
Anyway, I’m very worried about her. (Ahem)
My young friend was anticipating disaster instead of planning for the best and watching for the unexpected,. That’s what scared her.
But nothing on her list was real as a concrete fact. GrayBall-the-Brain was playing the worried psychic.
I said, “If you can predict the future, why not become a professional psychic. You’d get rich, and your money worries will disappear.”
She asked me what she should do.
“About what? None of your problems are real.”
Her eyes narrowed. “You’re not helping, Jim!”
“There’s no answer to your question, because it’s not a real problem. You’re making it up,” I said.
She shot back. “I’m not making it up! You’re not making any sense!”
“Then show me the facts as you know them for certain. Show me the evidence. Can you take a picture of your scary future and hold it in your hands? If not, it isn’t real. It’s in your mind.”
“I’m going on the evidence of my past. A bad past means I’m going to have a bad future. That’s how I know.” (Read that bit again and see if you can spot the error in her thinking.)
The future doesn’t exist as a fact. It’s all imagined.
“But the past is gone.” I said. “It’s only a memory. And an unreliable memory, at best. Show me concrete evidence of how your past means your future. You can’t because the meaning isn’t there! What you’re worried about isn’t real. Your brain is making up scary stories, and you believe them. Brain thinks that imagining a scary future will protect you by keeping you hyper-vigilant. That’s your real problem.”
“So what do I do?”
“Make up a better story with a happier future.” I said. “Imagine a possible future you can be in love with. Create a plan and work toward that.”
“How do I do that?”
“Don’t worry. I’ll tell you how in Part II. In the meanwhile, I want you to consider something.”
“What, more PICTURES-OF-EVIDENCE?” She had taken a tone.
I went all zen-ish on her. “Anything that hasn’t happened yet can change,” I said. “But nothing can be changed before it has happened.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? It’s like I’m talking to Yoda!”
“Yeah, well, think about it. It’ll mess with your mind. That could be a good thing.”
“Thanks, dweeb!”
Stay tuned for “The Practical Approach to a Worry-Free Brain” coming next installment.
Hi. Welcome to my Universe.
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And thanks for being you. You’re the only you there will ever be. That makes you awesome.
GrayBall, The Brain – a/k/a “The World’s Worst Terrorist”
Wednesday, November 28th, 2012I’m convinced – at least on some days – that without a whole cadre of anti-terrorism tactics in place, GrayBall would be burning and pillaging it’s way across the entire landscape of my future life right now. After all, it was an experience all too familiar from my younger years.
And I know that I’m not the only one. Admit it. You know who you are.
Do you have a potential or a possibility for the future, but . . .
Are you anxiously asking yourself “what if questions” about your future hopes and dreams?
If so, you’re being terrorized by the ‘world’s worst terrorist.”
What is it with GrayBall anyway?
Why is it – just when we should be feeling excited and passionate about all the possibilities in front of us – does it begin to terrorize us with thoughts of failures past, broken dreams and disappointments?
Well, chalk it up to GrayBall’s wonderful self-preservationist attitudes. It often thinks it’s under attack, and feels the need to defend itself against future failure.
GrayBall loves to lob bombs from the past and create all manner of chaos and mayhem into our soon-to-be future.
Have an upcoming presentation? You’ll suddenly remember the time in the 3rd grade when, in a panic, you forgot the only two lines you were required to remember for the school play.
Have a prospective first date? You’ll start to reflect on how badly your last relationship turned out.
Trying to land that new job? Rejections, rejections, rejections are all you can think about.
It’s hard to believe the future will turn out anything but badly.
How could it? As you’re inching ever closer to the inevitable doom of stepping on that landmine out in the future that GrayBall has so loving placed there.
Yep, I said lovingly.
Because Gray Ball really means well. That’s why it’s a bad terrorist. In fact, it’s the world’s worst. Because it’s trying to help us … not harm us.
It’s trying to protect us by helping us to pay attention to what might happen that we don’t want to have happen. But this is like trying to help you navigate a mine field by laying down more mines so you’ll remember they’re there. Kinda crazy, huh?
Here’s another reason GrayBall is the world’s worst terrorist: all the bombs are really duds. They don’t really exist. They’re memories from the past…. things we’ve already endured and lived through.
That alone should convince us that our ‘not yet successes’ in the future will turn out okay in the end … because they always do. We can learn, grow and evolve. You aren’t the 3rd grader who didn’t remember your lines, you’re an adult fully capable of stringing two sentences together, your past relationship taught you to stop trying to change people and look for someone who already possesses the qualities you’re looking for, and you’ve endured enough rejection to realize you’ll live to fight another day.
So while GrayBall is rooting around in the past for those duds to toss out into your future ask yourself, “What have I learned that will help me achieve my not-yet future success?”
And more importantly, GrayBall is simply a misguided friend. Not a foe. But, more on that later.
Truth or Consequences? Pick One
Thursday, March 1st, 2012“When it comes to The Truth, all of us are liars.” (sayings by lp)
Truth can never be measured in absolute terms of truth-y-ness (yup, I just made that up).
Truth is relative … it’s not absolute. What is unquestionably true for any one individual or group is often questionable to another.
Just ask Republicans and Democrats. They can look at the exact same evidence and use it to support their own version of The Truth. Which is just their way of saying what they believe to be true.
You might ask, “How does this happen?” Well, chalk it up to the fact that GrayBall the Brain is a meaning making machine. It’s constantly evaluating situations and circumstances to assess what they might mean.
When we’re children, these meanings are almost exclusively about who we are, and our relationship to the world around us. These meanings later come to shape the Truths we come to live by . . . in other words, our beliefs.
Unfortunately, all this is taking place at a time when Brain is woefully lacking in “executive function,” not to mention life experience. It’s not able to assess whether any given meaning is healthy or toxic. Keep in mind that it’s essentially making the meaning up in the first place. And the meaning it’s making up? That’s what makes this so crazy – because it’s no more true than any other meaning it could be making up, if only it knew to make it.
Are you beginning to see the problem here?
But wait . . . it gets even crazier. Because once GrayBall makes up a meaning, it then looks for evidence to support it, which it then uses as a way to ‘make true’ its meaning.
So, although we might think that our beliefs are founded on evidence, it’s really the other way around. We believe something is true; therefore, we see evidence that it is. There’s a saying, “If you walk through the world with a hammer, you’ll find a lot of nails.”
Did you catch the fundamental flaw in all of this?
That’s right … Brain doesn’t look for counter-examples that don’t support it’s meaning. Like a heat seeking missile; it’s only looking for what it’s looking for … never what it’s not.
And, because it didn’t look for counter evidence to begin with, it will never look for it in the future. That’s why people continue to carry a felt belief that they are not capable, or good enough, or (fill in the blank) even after accumulating of a ton of life experience (evidence) to the contrary.
GrayBall makes up the meaning, finds the evidence, and then convinces itself that the meaning it only made up in the first place is – in fact – the only possible Truth. Ultimately creating a situation in which no other meaning can then exist.
And if that’s not crazy, I don’t know what is.
This is why it’s nearly impossible to have a sensible discussion about what’s True and what’s Not True. And it also explains why it’s a futile endeavor to try to talk someone out of a belief… especially when it comes to themselves. GrayBall has tricked them into believing that what they think about themselves is verifiably true.
So depending on how you look at it, unfortunately, there is no Truth-o-Meter. There’s no way to measure absolute Truth.
But fortunately, there’s something we can measure. And that’s the result any particular Truth has on our lives.
Simply stated, we can measure the consequences of holding onto a belief. Rather than focusing on whether or not something is True, we can ask whether it was ever useful to believe it in the first place.
That’s why I am always more interested in the consequences of a Truth over its relative truth-y-ness. One I can measure. The other? Well, it just starts arguments.
So here’s a challenge for you.
What Truths are operating in your life? What do you think is true about you?
And, more importantly, what do these truths cost you in terms of happiness, fulfillment, passion, enthusiasm, or optimism? Are they supporting your success or are they undermining it?
Because if your Truths are questionable, the results of hanging on to ones that don’t support you are not.
So pick one. Truth? … or … Consequences?