Archive for the ‘GrayBall’ Category
Making Friends With The Enemy
Thursday, August 15th, 2013A few days ago, GrayBall, The Brain and I started the day out as enemies. No worries. It all turned out in the end. Here’s how it happened.
I was determined that I should buckle down and use my regularly scheduled block of time to finish editing my new book. Brain thought a day in the sunshine was a Much Better Idea.
Although I could hardly dispute that a sunny, comfortable 75 degree August day in Rochester was cause for celebration, my resolution to keep my self on track was too important to dismiss. I was conflicted. I had a part that wanted to do one thing and another part of me with an entirely different opinion. I see-sawed between the joy of being outdoors and the satisfaction of following through with a personal commitment to myself.
In the past, this would have started an argument between competing purposes. I would have labeled Brain’s attempts as a sabotage. I’ve since learned better. I’ve realized that GrayBall is sometimes a misguided friend.
Here’s how it all worked out in the end …
I assumed a positive intention and negotiated a truce. Here’s how I did that.
I began by asking Brain, “What’s the positive intention behind wanting to be outdoors?” Brain quickly responded by pointing out how lovely it would be to be in the sunshine and breathing in the fresh air.
So I asked, “And if I did spend time outdoors today, what would that get me?” To which Brain responded, “relaxation and enjoyment.” Well, I had to admit that that sounded pretty good to me. I wrote the answer down.
Then I thanked Brain for it’s positive intention and asked if it would be willing to help me understand it’s intention even better. It agreed; so I asked, “and if I had relaxation and enjoyment (it’s intention) what would that get me?” When Brain gave me the next answer, I wrote that one down too. Then I kept asking the same question of Brain, substituting each additional intention it gave me into the question, until Grey Ball ran out of answers.
When we finally arrived at “peace,” I asked GrayBall if there was anything more important than experiencing peace. To which it responded, “No.”
I next asked Brain, “Are you congruently creating peace by pulling my attention away from my project?” GrayBall had to admit that creating conflict, when what it wanted most of all was peace, was not congruent.
Having reached the end of that line of inquiry, I then asked Brain, “What’s the positive intention behind wanting to follow through with my personal commitment to finish the edit on my new book?” Brain—now eager to play along— answered that it would give me “a sense of accomplishment.” I couldn’t argue with that one either; so I quickly thanked Brain for wanting that for me. And I wrote it down and followed the same process of inquiry that I used the first time.
So I continued to ask, “and what would that get me?,” until GrayBall ran out of answers. Lo and behold, it’s highest intention for “us” was—one again—peace.
Now I asked GrayBall to notice that both choices were moving “us” toward the same intention. It said, “Yes.” So I asked it, “If we get to peace, then it really doesn’t matter how we get there, right?” Gray Ball was beginning to get the point.
So I next asked GrayBall to notice that peace was a state of being. In other words, it wasn’t a doing. It didn’t have to do anything to acquire it.
I directed it’s attention toward the fact that it could simply decide to “step into a state of being at peace and experience what that would be like to be there already.”
Once I could connect to the feeling of peace in my body, I asked it, “What happens when you begin in a state of peace as a way of approaching this project?” and “How would that affect your ability to complete this project more efficiently and effectively?”
By now, GrayBall was getting the point. Since it already had what it most wanted, it no longer felt the need to distract me away from my work. Finally I asked GrayBall whether it would be willing to maintain a sense of peace for me while I continued to craft a new intro to my book. Because—after all—that was it’s highest intention, right?
Gray Ball happily agreed. And it turned out to be a Very Sunny Day indeed.
So the next time you feel conflicted—when part of you wants this and another part of you wants that—ask your GrayBall what positive intention it has for you. You’re bound to be surprised how easy it is to make friends with the enemy.
GrayBall, The Brain – a/k/a “The World’s Worst Terrorist”
Wednesday, November 28th, 2012I’m convinced – at least on some days – that without a whole cadre of anti-terrorism tactics in place, GrayBall would be burning and pillaging it’s way across the entire landscape of my future life right now. After all, it was an experience all too familiar from my younger years.
And I know that I’m not the only one. Admit it. You know who you are.
Do you have a potential or a possibility for the future, but . . .
Are you anxiously asking yourself “what if questions” about your future hopes and dreams?
If so, you’re being terrorized by the ‘world’s worst terrorist.”
What is it with GrayBall anyway?
Why is it – just when we should be feeling excited and passionate about all the possibilities in front of us – does it begin to terrorize us with thoughts of failures past, broken dreams and disappointments?
Well, chalk it up to GrayBall’s wonderful self-preservationist attitudes. It often thinks it’s under attack, and feels the need to defend itself against future failure.
GrayBall loves to lob bombs from the past and create all manner of chaos and mayhem into our soon-to-be future.
Have an upcoming presentation? You’ll suddenly remember the time in the 3rd grade when, in a panic, you forgot the only two lines you were required to remember for the school play.
Have a prospective first date? You’ll start to reflect on how badly your last relationship turned out.
Trying to land that new job? Rejections, rejections, rejections are all you can think about.
It’s hard to believe the future will turn out anything but badly.
How could it? As you’re inching ever closer to the inevitable doom of stepping on that landmine out in the future that GrayBall has so loving placed there.
Yep, I said lovingly.
Because Gray Ball really means well. That’s why it’s a bad terrorist. In fact, it’s the world’s worst. Because it’s trying to help us … not harm us.
It’s trying to protect us by helping us to pay attention to what might happen that we don’t want to have happen. But this is like trying to help you navigate a mine field by laying down more mines so you’ll remember they’re there. Kinda crazy, huh?
Here’s another reason GrayBall is the world’s worst terrorist: all the bombs are really duds. They don’t really exist. They’re memories from the past…. things we’ve already endured and lived through.
That alone should convince us that our ‘not yet successes’ in the future will turn out okay in the end … because they always do. We can learn, grow and evolve. You aren’t the 3rd grader who didn’t remember your lines, you’re an adult fully capable of stringing two sentences together, your past relationship taught you to stop trying to change people and look for someone who already possesses the qualities you’re looking for, and you’ve endured enough rejection to realize you’ll live to fight another day.
So while GrayBall is rooting around in the past for those duds to toss out into your future ask yourself, “What have I learned that will help me achieve my not-yet future success?”
And more importantly, GrayBall is simply a misguided friend. Not a foe. But, more on that later.