Why Being Stuck Is No Reason To Become Unglued

”You teach best what you most need to learn.” ~ Richard David Bach

Just about every client we meet these days, at some point during our intake session, admits rather ashamedly that they’re hopelessly stuck. 

Although this is often offered up with more than just a hint of “you just don’t understand,” they soon discover that we most certainly do.

Because we get it.  The fact is: being a client can be rather like going to the doctor.

The vulnerability of ‘dressing down’ to let someone else take a peak can be pretty overwhelming at first.

So let me stand naked before you and tell you right up front, “Any problem you can do, I used to do better!” In fact, everyday I’m constantly reminded that I do indeed “teach best” (as Richard David Bach would say) what I need to learn most.  And never has this been truer than over the two years it’s taken for Jim and I to launch the Mindopoly® website.

Getting temporarily stuck in feelings of overwhelm, exhaustion, frustration or procrastination kept me a perpetual student to my own good advice.

Not so infrequently I reminded myself of something I teach my clients. 

There will always be more that we don’t know than what we do. Our willingness to be students gives us the wisdom to teach others based on experience.

As you might have already guessed, I’ve been on an accelerated learning curve.

Earning a B.S. (Being a Student) in Stuck

Having already made the Dean’s List, I thought I’d share some things this experience has taught me this year. 

And shame on me, they’re things I already knew or should have known in the first place. 

Which brings me to lesson number one.

Even though you know that you know better, it’s frequently helpful to remember . . .

You Are Always a Work In Progress

Or as my Dad would say, “what a piece of work!”  Frankly, I like my Dad’s version. 

I find that laughing at myself – especially during those times when I’d like to drop “me” off and leave her somewhere else for the day – often helps to make a bad day better.

If something isn’t working, I know that I’ve probably fallen into one of the thinking traps I’m constantly warning others about. 

I think something is wrong with me.  Which is never, ever the case.

“Stuck’ is a condition you may temporarily find yourself in. 

It is not who you are.  It’s perfectly okay to be where you are . . .  until you are not.

It’s the permission you need to start looking for a way to make It better. And whatever It turns out to be, it’s a whole lot easier if you don’t mistake the It for you.

If you are making yourself wrong, – you’ll never be right.  You are always ‘good enough for now,’ doing your best to be your best. 

Because, trust me, no one wakes up in the morning with the conscious intent to be anything less –  no matter what you’ve been led to believe.

What you feel and what you do are distinctly different from the you who is feeling the feeling and/or doing the doing.

Lesson number two . . .

If You’re Stuck Moving Forward, Back Up to Reach Your Goal

Goals (or dreams) are wonderful for guiding or – what I like to call “direction-alizing” – your energy.  They give you something to aim at.  They help you build the steps and criteria needed to get yourself from here to there.

But here’s a sticky truth: if you use them to measure your progress, they’ll suck the fun right out of having them in the first place.  This is because goals are there – in the future.  While you’re clearly here –  in the now.

If you use goals to measure your progress, you’ll always end up making yourself ‘wrong’.  Because you can’t be that there, yet.  You can only ever be this here, now.

But here’s the good news: if you measure your progress against where you were in the past, you will make yourself “right on target.”

Because when you look backwards, you can measure your progress by seeing just how far you’ve already come. 

Notice just how much you can and will continue to grow, evolve and change based on how much you’ve already changed.  No matter how small the change, you’ve already made it this far, haven’t you?

Which is just what I did in writing this blog post.  Anytime I felt stuck, I went back and reread what I had already written.  Proving once again that the best teachers are often better students.

Stuck… Stuck – Goose

When I was little, we used to play a game called “duck, duck, goose.” 

These days I play a different game.  I call it “stuck, stuck, goose.” 

When I’m stuck, I don’t duck.  I tap myself on the head and use these two lessons and give myself a little “goose” to get me going again.

So when you’re stuck, don’t duck.  “Stuck, stuck . . . goose!”

Tags: change, getting unstuck, how to, stuck